When I thought

When I thought,
I finally found a place in life,
you push away from me.
You do this every time,
do you know how much you're hurting me?
Can you feel my pain,
is it nonexistent to you?
When I thought,
I could call you my friend,
you back away and
hold up a stop sign.
Do you know how much my tears
burn?
When I thought,
I can open up again,
you tell me to close it back up.
What do I mean to you?