Wow

For no apparent reason, I was just overwhelmed with the need to cry. To let everything out
My heart hurts,
consumed by the overwhelming sadness.
Can you help me?
Sitting here,
and thinking about nothing
and just about everything.
It hurts,
to know the time that has passed
cannot come back again.
Can you help me?
All i need is for all those times
to come back to me.
And everything is going to be okay.

Some people

Some people just piss the f*** out of me. They're nice when the ask for help, but when I need help, they completely forgot everything. Like I don't know you don't want to tell me, but aren't we "friends"? Aren't friends supposed to help each other for help? I could have said no every time you asked for help, but i didn't. I didn't because I'm a fucking nice person and don't know how to say no, and you use that for your fucking advantage. How does it feel when the whole world isn't there for you when you need help? You wouldn't fucking know cause you're the one manipulating everyone to get what you want. You keep saying you hate those kind of people, but you're just one of them. Don't pretend you're all innocent and shit, I can see behind the freaking mask you put on. You're always saying how sad your life is and i listen, but when I want to tell you how I feel, you freaking don't care. Do you have issues? Why the hell do you think the world revolves around you? It doesn't, for cry out loud. Why don't you look yourself in the mirror for once, and truly see the kind of person you are. Trust me, you'll be shocked at yourself.

sigh...

there's so much influences around me, it annoys me sometimes. i should always live above the influence,but when every single person is acting the same way, it's pretty hard to ignore. i should also stop daydreaming....can't tell the difference between reality and dreams anymore..am i going crazy? i shouldn't be since i know what my problem is and that is always the first step in curing yourself, right? hmmm a lot on my mind but i can't seem to find the answers, maybe they're right in front of my eyes and i'm just too blind to see them, i tend to only see the things i like to see and not what i need to see. Is everyone like this? It would be nice to know, to know you're not only in this world. Makes me think about friends...what is the definition of friends? is there even a definition of friends? if there's no exact definition of love, there's probably none for friends. hmmm i think i need a change in environment...it would help a lot...but where?? so random but isn't that how it should be? randomness = peace

I love them

I fucking love my family, i love them so much that i fucking hate them. They give me so much love and support (Note:heavy sarcasm). How come parents fucking think they understand their kids when they know anything? They understand because we're "their kids". Fuck that. Just because we're "your kids" doesn't mean you understand us. You're not us. We try to understand you because you work hard for the family, but have you tried to understand what we feel? If you "have", then you have failed miserably.

Take me away

Take me away from this cold cold world.
Tell me everything's going to be okay,
that you'll be there to share your warmth.
Take me away from this sad sad world.
Bring me to the other side of the universe,
where everything makes sense
and nothing matter.
Take me away from this miserable world
and say you love me.

Need

I freaking need to curse someone out. Tired like shit. Everything is worthless.Nothing makes sense.

Giving Up

What is the point of waking everyday to the same thing? There's no meaning to life when nothing makes sense. The things we face everyday are personal demons sent from hell. They make sure you never smile for real again. They make sure there's no one around you to care for you. Life is a gift. Life is also torture. Why can't we all become sleeping beauty? But then who's going to be our prince?

i promise

i promise to keep my mouth shut from now on. I did not know how much my words could hurt you. I didn't know the act you were putting on meant the many pains you were suffering. I hope you can forgive the ignorant me. I'm sorry.

so many...

secrets. People have so many secrets, wouldn't it be nice to tell someone about it sometimes? I wish i have to courage to do that. But the feeling of exposing yourself is so terrifying, you automatically shrink back into your shell. One day. One day soon, I'm going to let the whole world know my secrets and then they can tell me who I am now, without any burden.

some people

just don't know the truth. They think they know everything but they really don't. There's a reason why someone would talk so much about a certain topic, because its true. I wish they would just relax and chill. Life would be so much easier. Oh wellz! No one's perfect, neither am i so i have absolutely no rights to to tell a person what to do.

so so scared

everything terrifies me. wish i was a little kid again, where nothing matter except barbie dolls.

Third times the charm

The third time i made a blog, hope it sticks this time.