damn her!

I don't understand myself sometimes. Why would I be so afraid of her? Why can't I say what I want when I see her? She's just a bitch and I can't talk to her to defend myself. I talked with her pretty well today, giving her an attitude and everything, and when she left, my hand started shaking. What the hell is wrong with me? I swear, I shouldn't be afraid of a woman who thinks she is better than everyone else. I always think about scenarios where I'm not afraid to confront her. But when I do see her, they all seem to leave my head. What kind of person am I going to grow up to be? I can't imagine it.Will I be able to defend myself when I grow up? Will I be able to defend my family if something were to happen? I hate her. Most importantly, I hate myself.