This is fun

Reading blogs from friends and writing my own entries makes me realize a lot of things. I get to know them indirectly, and learn what would be the best way to comfort them. Writing a blog hasn't become a hassle, it's pretty fun expressing yourself because these days, it's pretty hard to. When you grow older, you learn that people have feelings too and then you have to think about the other person. It would be nice if the other person thought so too, but you can't expect people to be what you want to be. As a result, we tend to keep things inside ourselves and forget that we also have feelings and thoughts that should be let out once in a while. Anyways, I got an email from the SAT prep I signed up for and I got really excited. This summer is going to be different, I'm going to make sure of that. But I don't know if I should have a Sweet 16. It's such a hassle and the money is a big problem. I don't want to waste my mom's money just because I'm turning 16, but I want to get presents >.< on my birthday. I know I suck but who doesn't want presents on their birthday and friends to spend the day? I have roughly a month to figure out what to do, maybe things might make a turn for the better and it wouldn't be so hard.

I really want next week to come already!! I hate staying home all day! Must pump my basketball and play some with my sister.

So yea

This summer, I'm going to be a changed person. I keep saying that every summer but this time, I'm for real! This summer consist of jogging,work, prep, and helping my mom. I am jogging everyday before I go to work or prep for maybe an hour. I am finally working! But it doesn't feel like work because I'm going to be doing what I do every saturday and sunday, but just getting paid. SAT!! OMG PSAT and SAT this junior year! I'm aiming for a 2000, a 1800 isn't bad either :D My mom has been mad stress lately and I finally realize how stupid and selfish I am. I keep thinking about myself and haven't realize what my mom has been going through. I know how to fully do that laundry now so I can help with that. I have a income now, so I can help some. Oh, and for junior year, I am going to fully commit myself to school work. No more facebook, aim, and or any distracting sites. I know that if i put all my effort into school, I can beat some of those smart kids cause they're not really smart, they cheat. I'm not smart either but I have some intelligence that has been hiding away because I'm too lazy. I'm so random, I just write whatever comes to mind so DEAL WITH IT :D I'm actually excited for SAT, but I hope I get it cause I signed up too late T___T But one thing I won't stop doing is checking my mail, it doesn't take a long time and I can check facebook updates without going on facebook!! I am also going to continue daydreaming, just when I'm not learning. It's a bad addiction, but it's so sweet at the same time. I wrote a lot today, that's because I haven't written daily. I won't promise that I will write everyday because I'm also cutting back computer time during the summer. I probably go on the computer twice or three times a week?? Sophomore year was the worst year of my life, I'm not letting junior year be the same. I'm going to make sure I do really good in my classes and get into a good college, get a good job, and take care of my awesome mommy and sis, who I want to kill sometimes.

Death

Death is a funny thing. You see it coming but with all your might, you pray it won't. I've never known have to react to death. There's pity when I read about death in the newspaper, but that's it. But today, someone close to me has passed away. The tears that fell felt weird, I didn't know why they fell. It hurts to know that I should have find more time to spend with this person, but because I was lazy, I kept pushing back the date. I'm going to miss the times when I see him eat so much food. Though there wasn't much talking, the times we went to chinese restaurant were memorable. I didn't know why he continue coming to us, asking us to go out and eat, but he did. He was a special man. I really hoped that the phone call that came today was telling us he got better, but all things must come to an end. He was very sick near the end, I hope that he's happier and comfortable in Heaven. May God Be With You.

R.I.P The Great Old Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating

Crying

I never felt like giving up so bad. Today was the day I felt the true meaning of loneliness. When the closest person betrays you, you start crying like it's the end of the world. I thought she would be there and fight with me, but today i realize in a battle, there's no one there but you. If only I wasn't a coward, I would.....................