i sometimes hate you

You are the light in my dark room,
but you are also my cloud to the beaming sun.
Every time I want to give up,
you are there to encourage me.
But you can cause me to hate myself,
hate myself for not being better,
for not being the person you want me to be.
When I think of you,
I don't know if I should live on
or leave this sad sad world.
You are my warmth in my winter self,
but you are also my sorrow in my happiness.